Be skeptical. Be VERY skeptical.
Apr 06 '01
The Bottom Line Be skeptical of the content - it may not be helpful to you.
One of the worst things about the self-help section is the fact that most of the books in it are of necessity rather limited in their orientation.
I have found that even the best of the average self-help books can only delve into their topic of choice to a limited extent. You will not be able to find all areas relating to the topic of the self-help book in that book, for the simple reason that there is no way on Earth that the author can know all of the subtleties in any given situation you face, because the author does not know you personally.
One example is the problems I face in dealing with my alcoholic neighbor on a daily basis. I ignore her whenever possible, and keep conversation with her down to a minimum when it becomes impossible to avoid her, for the simple reason that the woman is simply incapable (due to alcohol-related brain damage) of understanding much of what I tell her. I know this because I have seen a distinct deterioration in her function over the years, ever since we moved into this neighborhood when I was a child. Although she still has enough brain function to understand that I am ignoring her or limiting my contact with her to the bare minimum necessary for polite discourse, she is incapable of understanding why I do this, so an intervention (as the procedure is commonly understood in the alcoholism-rehabilitation industry) would not be effective. Neither would it be effective, in the long run, to interact with her to the same extent to which I would interact with her son or daughter-in-law, who live across the street. But an outsider looking at my socializing with her (or, more accurately, not socializing with her) would merely see me appearing to be rude to an older person without realizing that I am incapable of responding appropriately to her due to my own problems.
The average self-help author would not catch these subtleties - my inability to handle socializing with an alcoholic, and her inability to remember topics we'd talked about (or even to determine what kind of relationship I would like to have with her) at any given time. Instead, that self-help author would offer pat answers to me through the pages of his or her book.
Ideally, a good self-help book would be individually written for each client, but this is impossible given the average person's multitude of other responsibilities. Self-help authors have these responsibilities as well, so they are literally incapable of producing this volume of material.
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Epinions.com ID:
Kidnykid
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Member: Robin Peters
Location: Hodgkins IL
Reviews written: 654
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